Hooray! Uncle Bob is coming to London at the end of September!
I can already feel my pants getting heavy.
Uncle Bob is a really famous dude from the island, who’s claim to fame is that he was on Oprah one time.
He also writ a book about having two Dads, (or was it DooDads?).
I felt sorry for Uncle Bob when I found out he had two Dads fighting over him. Families really suck when that happens. I think that was the reason he got into real estate. It was basically a strategy to hide from his Dads.
Uncle Bob gave me some sound advice. He said “During hard times, assets feed you, and liabilities eat you.” Even when he was drunk, he was on message with “If it Flies, Floats or Fkucs – Rent It.”
I rent everything, from my home, car, computers, desks, chairs, clocks and coffee makers. In fact my wife Peggy even has a Collision Damage Waiver on her as part of our pre-nup. Nothing of value is going to appear on MY Balance Sheet thank you very much. Like Uncle Bob though, I do have a house that I rent out. While the mortgage lender owns the vast majority of my 3-bed semi, the rest is MINE. It does pay not to have much in your name for those moments when you want to screw someone. It means they are less likely to take legal action against you, yay!
Am not sure that Uncle Bob really understood what he was saying. He said you couldn’t get rich quick with two Dads, but applying his lessons, I feel really rich, and my clients think I am too. I have all the toys, including the Audi Q5 with a personal plate (rented of course) When I’m on stage and show a picture of my car, the audience just swoons. It’s really cool.
Let’s face the truth here. Everyone wants to get rich quick right? Why wait or slog your guts out for years? You do what you have to do, even if that includes pooping on a few people on the way up. So my killer advice is:
1. Read a really cool book like Two Dads by Uncle Bob
2. Misunderstand it the best you can and misquote it often
3. “Improve it” to a get rich quick format
4. Never, ever, practice what you preach
5. Milk the Intellectual property until you get the Stop & Desist letter.
6. Move on to your next book.
Do let me know how you get on implementing this amazing strategy.
Until next time…