Spread the Love, Shovel the Shi’

Standard
MAD

I Could Have Been A Contender

What a MAD MAD week here on Knicker Island!

My butler Richie B, has been entertaining a few billionaires, and of course, ensuring they get a POWER coaching session with the Master of Tosh himself, Moi!

First up was some guy called Ronald Tramp. Apparently he’s in a real state. Perfect stressed client alert! What a funny guy though. We chewed the fatwa for a bit, in which he told me about his Apprenticeship and then he said, (I’ll never forget,) “Who are you?” Oh how we laughed.
Anyway, he was the first to tell me the importance of Spreading the Love ❤ ❤ ❤

godfather-quotes

Kissing My Ring Piece

Now I know how to spread the love wherever I go. I let people kiss my gold guru ring piece, have photos with me (as long as there is a step to stand on) and will even sign my book for them, provided they have paid the full RRP. Also, Peggy has told you recently about my bedroom superiority in the excerpt from her upcoming book, Living with the World’s Greatest Entrapraner, AND I am a regular visitor to Milf&Honey.com. So I get the Spread the Love strategy. ❤

Next up in my POWER coaching session was a guy called Bis Morgen.
He was an extremely successful and influential Journalist and TV Bloke, or so he said. But he was out of work and looking for a J.O.B. I just had to help him get back on his feet. Living in exile is tough. There is a distinct lack of sycophants here on the island, so this was my chance to grow the pool. POWER coaching method 101 locked and loaded!

Bis and I shared some personal, touching moments before we started to list out the things he should START, and things he should STOP. He wanted to continue with phone tapping his favourite beats because it had got him many leads in the past, However, I persuaded him that this was now Old School. Suddenly, he went into a transindental dance and started exclaiming “It wasn’t me Sir!” followed by “It was Tarquin Sir!”

This freaked me a little, as clearly he’d had some dreadful experiences in his life. But I had long learnt to ignore people’s history, unless it helped me to UpSell them.

images-5

Bis Gets Als Ice Bucket

I emptied Als bucket of ice cold water over him which instantly bought him back to us on Knicker Island. I asked him about his exclamations and he explained his “Always Blame Someone Else” principle that he had learned at school. Since working as the No.1 gutter press journalist, he had developed his thoughts to Keep Calm and Shovel the Shi’.

This was a moment of distinction. This was a GAME CHANGER. Being a Creator, Star and Lord, I put Ronald and Bis together. From now on. I was going to Spread My Love and Shovel Shi’ everywhere I went. It was Yin and Yang. It was balanced. It fit with my long held beliefs. All my business failures, every piece of bad advice I had given, the promises I had made, and not delivered, all fitted into the Spread the Shi’ and Love the Shovel principle.

What a Genius I am. I am a God!

Soooo, expect some Webinars, DVD’s and Workshops to buy soon my Purple Posse!

❤ ❤ ❤