MakeUp Secrets & The First Law of Wealth



BIG SECRET reveal coming later in this post. It WILL rock your cotton socks off, GUARANTEED, 1001%.

Just make sure you are sitting down before reading this! If you are one of the 87.1% of people who check their email and Facebook posts on the toilet – please hold your device over the safety net of your underwear.

I want to let you into a secret about secrets. It’s no secret that the best thing about secrets is secretly telling someone your secret, thereby adding another secret to your secret collection of secrets, secretly. Therefore, it’s about secretion, or more precisely, it’s about how you share and manage your secretions with others.

It’s an established, well known, scientific fact, that secrets SELL. It’s not the secret itself that will make you wealthy, it’s revealing the secret that has the greenbacks rolling in.

For example, Rhonda Byrne’s book, The Secret, also on film, contained a lot of twaddle she copied from Wallace Wattles book, The Science of Getting Rich, written in 1910 when science was in the dark ages. Back then surgical operations were done without anaesthesia by Barber shop quartets, everyone thought the world was a flatbread and, like, like, Facebook hadn’t even been invented.


Line ‘Em Up Barkeep’

Byrne says that you can align the stars and the planets in our Universe using a special positive vibration that uses the scientific (titter) Law of Attraction. When you do this, the Universe works FOR you, rather than against you.

Now I’m no brain surgeon, but being THE Master of Tosh, I smell something toshy.

Everyone knows these days of course, that the Hubble Bubble Space Telescope is responsible for Universal events like eclipses, supernova, and the stars aligning into animal shapes. It’s no coincidence that we are seeing more since it’s launch in 1990. So unless you have a direct line to the man in the telescope, it ain’t happening!

But here’s the rub. Byrne sold millions of books and became wealthy as a result. This would not have happened had she called the book Positive Vibes or Applied Planet Mechanics. It’s because she called it The Secret and revealed it to the world. The content was largely tosh, but the promise and reveal was masterful.

Other people HAVE become wealthy on the back of the book, but not many. They too have peddled the twaddle in Secretion Workshops, Webinars, and DVD’s, knowing the secret is all in the reveal.

So for those who love bullet points, you need to;

  • Make Up Secrets, ensuring a strong link to ancient wisdom (punters like that)
  • Market the promise with suspense and intrigue, and
  • Perfect your revealing skills, always leaving something to the imagination

Examples might include

  • Victoria’s Secret – How to achieve the perfect muffin top without VPL
  • Harry Ramsden’s Chamber of Secrets – Avoid the Mushy Pea Palaver
  • Secrets of the Wealth Accelerators – Collaborating to sell 33 (or was it 32?) times more books
  • Official Secrets Act IV, pt 1, – Leveraging What You Line Know, About Line2 Who You Know

secret-sauceIMPORTANT ADVICE: Never reveal your Secret Sauce in the marketing copy. Just like real secret sauces and recipes, there is nothing really special in it, and people are just being polite when they say they love it.


We have been searching the urinals of time for a solution to the problem of a low prostate numbers in our sales funnel. At some time in business, you have to pay a Lead Generation God, like myself.

While studying some ancient Sanskrit texts I found down the back of the chair in which my Grandad died, I came across a scientific discovery by one of the original, ancient Guru’s, Waranus Buffetus. A well educated man in the science of groat alchemy, he founded the First Law of Wealth: To be Rich, Mix with the Poor!

It was pure genius. Waranus almost certainly created a stink at the time. Many of his peers were advocating the “Follow and Bottom Feed” principles of Mixing with Millionaires.

Think about it. Important distinction coming up – there are millions MORE Poor people in the world than Rich. It’s like I discovered a new neesh market AND it was multiple generations deep. If I could live, eat, smell and think like the Poor, I could serve and fleece them well.

So has it worked for me?

YOU BETCHA! I was literally ROCKED off my toadstool.

I got so many leads applying this principle, my funnel literally overflowed. The rest, is history…

I wouldn’t be where I am today, including first hand experiences of the odd legal action, insolvency and debt issues, without following Buffetus’s First Law of Wealth.

Mixing with the Poor has provided me with both Motivation and Market Insight. I have managed to create enough wealth in the local community to ensure they can pay my reassuringly expensive fees, from the bottom to the very top of my 4-FT product staircase.

In addition, they see me for who I truly am – a God!


A Selfie I took on the way to doing a MASSIVE deal with the Hubble Bubble guys.

And That’s Pure Rocket Fuel.

These ancient discoveries don’t come along very often. But when they do, WOWZER!!

Now go forth, create, excite and manage those secretions well my Purple Posse.






Rich Guru, Poor Guru


Poor Guru

Little Al Pavins

Rich Guru

Hooray! Uncle Bob is coming to London at the end of September!

I can already feel my pants getting heavy.

Uncle Bob is a really famous dude from the island, who’s claim to fame is that he was on Oprah one time.

He also writ a book about having two Dads, (or was it DooDads?).

I felt sorry for Uncle Bob when I found out he had two Dads fighting over him. Families really suck when that happens. I think that was the reason he got into real estate. It was basically a strategy to hide from his Dads.

Uncle Bob gave me some sound advice. He said “During hard times, assets feed you, and liabilities eat you.” Even when he was drunk, he was on message with “If it Flies, Floats or Fkucs – Rent It.”

I rent everything, from my home, car, computers, desks, chairs, clocks and coffee makers. In fact my wife Peggy even has a Collision Damage Waiver on her as part of our pre-nup. Nothing of value is going to appear on MY Balance Sheet thank you very much. Like Uncle Bob though, I do have a house that I rent out. While the mortgage lender owns the vast majority of my 3-bed semi, the rest is MINE. It does pay not to have much in your name for those moments when you want to screw someone. It means they are less likely to take legal action against you, yay!

Am not sure that Uncle Bob really understood what he was saying. He said you couldn’t get rich quick with two Dads, but applying his lessons, I feel really rich, and my clients think I am too. I have all the toys, including the Audi Q5 with a personal plate (rented of course) When I’m on stage and show a picture of my car, the audience just swoons. It’s really cool.

Let’s face the truth here. Everyone wants to get rich quick right? Why wait or slog your guts out for years? You do what you have to do, even if that includes pooping on a few people on the way up. So my killer advice is:

1. Read a really cool book like Two Dads by Uncle Bob

2. Misunderstand it the best you can and misquote it often

3. “Improve it” to a get rich quick format

4. Never, ever, practice what you preach

5. Milk the Intellectual property until you get the Stop & Desist letter.

6. Move on to your next book.

Do let me know how you get on implementing this amazing strategy.

Until next time…

Robert-Kiyosaki-Panerai-Egiziano Buy tickets to see Uncle Bob here…



The 7 Signs of Marketing


signs of marketing

Don’t shoot the Messenger! they cry. But when your Messenger is your marketing dude, it could be a darn good thing to do.

There is a lot of bad marketing advice out there, and if you are not careful, you will find yourself being successful at generating leads for your sales pipeline. We all need to know how to crash and burn at marketing to prevent any accidental sales.

I have observed many signs of marketing and I urge you to note these 7 right here…

7 Signs of Marketing